My mother asked me yesterday, how on earth I can handle all that I have had to deal with lately. I told her that I can't. I said that the downstairs is a wreck because I have been cooking supper and then heading into the bird room to stay. I have not done any housework down there in a week. Why? Because as soon as I do something down there...it is wrecked. So why bother. I am so fed up with it and I am about to explode.
I told my mother that if I don't soon get out of here and do something for me, I will explode. Needless to say, I am still here. She, on the other hand, left for the morning and then left for the day at 1:30 for me to deal with all the daycare kids. Thanks mom! I am here from 6:45 AM until 5:30 PM, I do not get a break nor do I get to leave early. When 5:30 rolls around, I want out of that room and I want to spend some time with my fids.
No, I do not say anything to my mom because I do not want to hurt her. It is my people pleasing complex coming into play. I love my mom dearly and most days it is really cool to have her here. She would do anything for me and is always there for me. I wasn't the best of teenagers and so I feel that I owe her a lot because of the way I acted. I was a snot! LOL
Anyway, hubby asked me at 8:00 this morning, if we were to go out tonight, what would we do with the birds? See. It has been ages since we did anything for ourselves and that is not good! Not sure if he was serious since he went to bed after 6AM this morning or what...As much as I like to stay here and snuggle my baby Peanut (my lovebird!!!), I need a break. I need to have some fun! I need time for myself. My whole entire day is built around doing things for other people, taking care of other people and I do not do anything for me.
My family says that I do my housework for me and not for them since no one asked me to do anything. Oooookaaaayyyy. If I didn't do any cleaning at all, wouldn't social services come to visit? Wouldn't someone complain? Wouldn't the health department come? So, unless they want to be in foster care (OK, not the 21 YO and the 19YO, but the 14 YO would get taken away) or in quarantine for some nasty disease, then no, I do not do housework just for me.
On to a more pleasant topic...I just watched the most amazing thing. Baby Joey taking his first bath!!!!!! (shoosh!! it was amazing to me :P~~~~~~~~~~~~) He was rolling all around and really enjoying it! So funny!!!!
Maile is doing well. She is still just as nasty, but is coming out more and more. However, she scurries right back in when something scares her. I don't know whether or not to take out her hut... It is dirty and I would love to get it cleaned. I would also love to get her a smaller one, but I'm not sure if that would make her worse or not...
I think 2 of my budgies are going to be parents soon! Koda is constantly by Melody's side and feeds her. So sweet! I don't know if I'm ready to be a grandma yet or not LOL But, if nature takes its course, who am to intervene??? LOL
Baby Joey is doing awesome, as well. He loves people and having attention paid to him. We cut his toenails the other day...boy was that an experience because his one foot is handicapped so getting him to uncurl it was really hard!
And, last but not least, Peanut got a wing clip :o( He was being too much of a daredevil when out of the birdroom. So for his safety, it needed to be done.
Til next time....
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Saturday, September 6, 2008
The stuff I deal with in my life-negativity
I have a real hard time not being negative. I always see things as dismal. One little thing could go wrong and I am convinced that all is worthless. It's not that I exaggerate or that I demand attention, I think it is just a part of my disorder...anxiety and panic attack disorder. And a lot of it has to do with how I perceive things.
For instance, we have a guest staying here (I am a sucker like I said in my last post...for all things that need me as if I am a wonderful healer or something ridiculous like that...) and along with my children and husband who can be slobs, it is just too much. Children are children, I do not ask a lot from them and I do not make them do a lot of chores. They generally do what I ask, and it is my own fault for not making them do more and for not being accountable.
So, anyway, back to being dismal (I can joke even in my dismal state LOL), I wake up at 5:30 in order to get some housework done before the daycare children start to arrive. This particular morning, I swept the entire upstairs floor and washed the kitchen floor. But, it looks as if I did nothing. Why? Because as I said up above...the members of my family are slobs.
I would go on strike, but I can not live in slobsville like my family can. They seriously do. not. care. !!!!
And so, in my dismal state, I sit and stew and ponder how my life turned into being a maid to these ungrateful people and when is it ever about me, when will they ever do anything for me? Then I rant and rave and blow up.
I have no time for myself. My mornings could be better spent on doing things for myself...yoga, taking a nice long bath, drinking my coffee leisurely...etc etc...
See how I am? I know that I am this way, so is this a mind over matter thing? Can I cure myself from this horrible condition? I don't think this is depression, I've been depressed before. I just think this is part of who I am because I have been this way ever since I was a child. And I have had anxiety attacks since I was a child as well. I am a nervous person.
Well, onto more exciting things...at least it is for me LOL
We let our 2 lovebirds meet :o) What about quarantine, you ask? Well, I for one do not believe in it when a bird comes from someone I know and trust. This lovebird came from my sister in law's house and she has been there for over a month. If she was sick, something would have happened sooner. And since she is hormonal and cage aggressive, it is very important to start breaking her from that ASAP. She was an only bird in both her former homes so I don't think she knows how to be a bird.
I say that because it is very apparent that she was not let out of her cage much. She has all her flight feathers, but can not fly well. How sad is that?! So, see, it is very important to teach her how to be a bird and I alone can not do that. She needs to see that humans are not all bad. That we will not hurt her. And the best way to show her that is to let her see how we are with our other birds. Time is of the essence here. (Is that the right phrase that I want?)
And, with her not having much exercise, except charging at our fingers, she is quite plump. A lot bigger than our lovie is.
Heeheehee, as I am typing this, Peanut is on my head taking a nap! LOL
School finally (!!!) started here so I am down to 2 fulltime daycare children. I love these kids, but it gets to be too much when they are all here. My son and my nephew are doing cyber school this year and it has been a rough first few days.
My nephew is doing his school here because his mom works during the day and with it being school on the internet, a number of things can and does go wrong. We've had a lot of problems starting out and I am glad that he was here instead of at home alone. I am sure that he would have given up and went back to bed LOL
During the first 2 weeks of school, they want all the kids on their computers by 8 AM sharp!! Someone was asleep at the wheel when they thought up that one, because 1400 kids trying to get on their server all at once is not feesible!
Friday nights are ordering out nights and we tried a new restuarant last night that did not meet my expectations. I do not know what I expected... we tried a soup and sandwich shop but seriously, I can get a whole pound of lunchmeat for the price of one sandwich at this shop. So, to me it seemed ridiculous and a waste of money...lesson learned :o)
See, in my dismal state, my train of thought would be something like, nothing ever goes right for me, I never get what I want, yadda yadda yadda...but, in reality, that kind of place does appeal to some people because that shop was hopping with business. And I'm sure that they won't miss me when I take my restuarant preference elsewhere...
Gotta go to the bank before it closes...toodles.
For instance, we have a guest staying here (I am a sucker like I said in my last post...for all things that need me as if I am a wonderful healer or something ridiculous like that...) and along with my children and husband who can be slobs, it is just too much. Children are children, I do not ask a lot from them and I do not make them do a lot of chores. They generally do what I ask, and it is my own fault for not making them do more and for not being accountable.
So, anyway, back to being dismal (I can joke even in my dismal state LOL), I wake up at 5:30 in order to get some housework done before the daycare children start to arrive. This particular morning, I swept the entire upstairs floor and washed the kitchen floor. But, it looks as if I did nothing. Why? Because as I said up above...the members of my family are slobs.
I would go on strike, but I can not live in slobsville like my family can. They seriously do. not. care. !!!!
And so, in my dismal state, I sit and stew and ponder how my life turned into being a maid to these ungrateful people and when is it ever about me, when will they ever do anything for me? Then I rant and rave and blow up.
I have no time for myself. My mornings could be better spent on doing things for myself...yoga, taking a nice long bath, drinking my coffee leisurely...etc etc...
See how I am? I know that I am this way, so is this a mind over matter thing? Can I cure myself from this horrible condition? I don't think this is depression, I've been depressed before. I just think this is part of who I am because I have been this way ever since I was a child. And I have had anxiety attacks since I was a child as well. I am a nervous person.
Well, onto more exciting things...at least it is for me LOL
We let our 2 lovebirds meet :o) What about quarantine, you ask? Well, I for one do not believe in it when a bird comes from someone I know and trust. This lovebird came from my sister in law's house and she has been there for over a month. If she was sick, something would have happened sooner. And since she is hormonal and cage aggressive, it is very important to start breaking her from that ASAP. She was an only bird in both her former homes so I don't think she knows how to be a bird.
I say that because it is very apparent that she was not let out of her cage much. She has all her flight feathers, but can not fly well. How sad is that?! So, see, it is very important to teach her how to be a bird and I alone can not do that. She needs to see that humans are not all bad. That we will not hurt her. And the best way to show her that is to let her see how we are with our other birds. Time is of the essence here. (Is that the right phrase that I want?)
And, with her not having much exercise, except charging at our fingers, she is quite plump. A lot bigger than our lovie is.
Heeheehee, as I am typing this, Peanut is on my head taking a nap! LOL
School finally (!!!) started here so I am down to 2 fulltime daycare children. I love these kids, but it gets to be too much when they are all here. My son and my nephew are doing cyber school this year and it has been a rough first few days.
My nephew is doing his school here because his mom works during the day and with it being school on the internet, a number of things can and does go wrong. We've had a lot of problems starting out and I am glad that he was here instead of at home alone. I am sure that he would have given up and went back to bed LOL
During the first 2 weeks of school, they want all the kids on their computers by 8 AM sharp!! Someone was asleep at the wheel when they thought up that one, because 1400 kids trying to get on their server all at once is not feesible!
Friday nights are ordering out nights and we tried a new restuarant last night that did not meet my expectations. I do not know what I expected... we tried a soup and sandwich shop but seriously, I can get a whole pound of lunchmeat for the price of one sandwich at this shop. So, to me it seemed ridiculous and a waste of money...lesson learned :o)
See, in my dismal state, my train of thought would be something like, nothing ever goes right for me, I never get what I want, yadda yadda yadda...but, in reality, that kind of place does appeal to some people because that shop was hopping with business. And I'm sure that they won't miss me when I take my restuarant preference elsewhere...
Gotta go to the bank before it closes...toodles.
Monday, September 1, 2008
She has a name!!
She finally has a name. After searching the internet for all kinds of names, I finally found one that suits her. Her name is Maile, pronounced MY-lee. It is an Hawaiian plant that they sometimes uses the leaves to make lei's. It is green in color and usually flowers between fall-winter and the flower has a faint vanilla scent. I love the smell of vanilla and she came to us in the early fall. Perfect!
She is ummm, settling in nicely. However, when we get to close to her cage she scurries into her hut and just waits for us to get close so she can charge. I can understand...she is protecting her nest. But, once she gets more use to us we can let her out to fly and play and she won't be as cage aggressive as she is now.
However, I think she bit one of my budgies toes :o( It is all black and blue and a little swollen. I need to catch him and put some antibiotic cream on it but I don't want to stress him out which catching him will surely do to him. Poor baby.
I have not had a chance to play with my dolls lately. Been very busy. And since it is the last unofficial day of summer, everyone is putting yard sales out. We hit one huge one today and that was all I could manage. My back hurt so badly that I could have puked. Sorry.
The only thing I bought was 2 doilies for my dining room table, some cable ties (which I ended up paying the wrong person for so I paid for them twice LOL)...hmmmm....I took a $20 bill, and came home with only $5 but for the life of me I can not remember what else I bought. Oh well.
She is ummm, settling in nicely. However, when we get to close to her cage she scurries into her hut and just waits for us to get close so she can charge. I can understand...she is protecting her nest. But, once she gets more use to us we can let her out to fly and play and she won't be as cage aggressive as she is now.
However, I think she bit one of my budgies toes :o( It is all black and blue and a little swollen. I need to catch him and put some antibiotic cream on it but I don't want to stress him out which catching him will surely do to him. Poor baby.
I have not had a chance to play with my dolls lately. Been very busy. And since it is the last unofficial day of summer, everyone is putting yard sales out. We hit one huge one today and that was all I could manage. My back hurt so badly that I could have puked. Sorry.
The only thing I bought was 2 doilies for my dining room table, some cable ties (which I ended up paying the wrong person for so I paid for them twice LOL)...hmmmm....I took a $20 bill, and came home with only $5 but for the life of me I can not remember what else I bought. Oh well.
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